:: Mary of Bethany - a Position Change

Posture 

The Lord has positioned me - and I have myself - as Mary of Bethany (Luke 10:38-42). Mary to me is a picture of the maiden in the Song of Songs that delighted in the fruit of abiding in her Beloved's shade. (2:3-4) Mary is the one who abided in the Vine - she learned the art of stillness and quietness of spirit. She knew humility. She knew Jesus. Mary sat at the feet of Jesus and was enthralled by His beauty - she knew His love was more delightful than wine (Song 1:2). This is a posture of receiving and of filling. 

What am I filling?

In Matthew 25, Jesus tells the parable of the 10 virgins. Five virgins were foolish and five virgins were wise. The foolish ones brought a lamp - but didn't bring oil to sustain a flame. The wise took oil in jars, along with their lamps. 

 -Now to me, these lamps symbolize a relationship with Jesus. Anyone can have it, but not everyone knows in order to sustain the flame of the relationship, you must fill yourself up with Him. -

 The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and all ten of the virgins became drowsy and fell asleep. 
 At midnight the cry rang out: "Here's the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!" 
 Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, "Give us your oil; our lamps are going out."
 "No," they replied, "there may not be enough for all of us. Go buy oil from those who sell it. Go get some for yourself."

 -Jesus longs for relationship with us! He makes this obvious. He wants us to experience Him for ourselves. Not our friend's relationship. Not our mother's or our father's. Ours. Just you and him. He says in Jeremiah 29:13, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart."-

While these foolish virgins were on their way to buy oil, the bridegroom arrived The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet, and the door was shut. 
 Later the others also came. "Sir, Sir!" they said. "Open the door for us!" 
 But he replied, "I tell you the truth, I don't know you." 
 Therefore keep watch, because you don't know the day or the hour.
Matthew 25:1-13

Lifestyle of a Wise Virgin - or, Mary

 This is the abiding part - even when you are asleep like the 10 virgins, you are cultivating the Garden, your heart. You meditate on the Word, pray, and love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and strength. It is to become preoccupied with the things of the Bridegroom. Psalm 51 says, "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew within me a steadfast spirit."

 Be pure and ready for your Bridegroom, because you don't know when He's coming!

:: Behold

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2nd Corinthians 3:17-18

What you behold is what you become.

If I am not beholding Jesus, I am not becoming more like Jesus. If the point of my life is to know Jesus, I simply must behold His face. I want to be reflect Him.

:: the Eternity Prize

"Do you not know that in a race, all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." 1 corinthians 9:24-25

 The TV show "The Voice" puts this in perspective for me. They can't see what kind of person is singing, but it doesn't matter. They are judging the Voice, not their appearance. So God does. 

 The singers do it for a dream that will not last. 

 But we do it for a Dream that wil soon end. Then for Eternity.

 My charge to you is are you racing towards Jesus? Do you live for the crown of Eternity with Him? 

 Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him
  How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!
  Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
  O for Grace to trust Him more

"Do not consider him based on his appearance or height . . . The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
1 Samuel 16:7

:: Let it go

Today I was thinking about disappointment. Rather, disillusionment about dreams and things hoped for, things expected, and things necessary. For me, dreams fit in all three categories. We hope for them, we expect them to be, and they can be necessary for vision. But they become dangerous when they become one's ultimate reality. 
 A scripture that has fascinated me recently is Jeremiah 29:11-14a (I encourage you to read it yourself and listen to what the Spirit says to you). 
 If we let our dreams become our reality, we miss out on the plans our Father has for us.
 Oswald Chambers wrote, "No Christian has a special work to do. A Christian is called to be Jesus Christ's own, 'a servant who is not greater than his master' (John 13:16), and someone who does not dictate to Jesus what he intends to do. Our Lord calls us to no special work - He calls us to Himself..." 
 "For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come to pray to me, and I will answer you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart. I wil be found by you, declares the Lord..." Jeremiah 29:11-14a 
 If you want your dreams, you must let them go first, let them die, as you let your flesh die, and let Christ resurrect them in Himself. Let it go.
 "He must become greater, and I must become less."
John 3:30
  

:: Say You Love Me

"But Zion has said, 'The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.'
'Can a woman forget her child and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Surely, they may forget, but I will not forget you! See, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me . . . Lift up your eyes and look around; all your sons gather and come to you. As surely as I live,' declares the Lord, 'you will wear them all as ornaments; you will put them on, like a bride.'" (Isaiah 49:14-16,18)

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future . . . You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the Lord, 'and bring you back from captivity . . .'" (Jeremiah 29:11,13-14)

Say you'll share with me
One Love, one lifetime
Say the word and I will follow you
Share each day with me
Each night, each morning
Let me lead you from your solitude
Say you love me
That's all I ask of you

 God wants to lead you from the place of Captivity. He sent His beloved Son (John 3:16) for Love of you.

 "Who is this coming up from the desert leaning on her Beloved?" (Song of Solomon 8:5a)

 His Love is the message of the Prophets, of the Apostles, and of Jesus. He doesn't want your religion . . . He wants your heart. He wants you to seek Him with all of your heart. When you do, you will find Him. He will lead you from your solitude . . .

::the visionary

(he stands.     walks nearly three feet.     chuckles under his breath.    looks 'round as if he owned the place, which, he did.)

his morbid fascination transcends both you and i.

he sees things we can't see; nor couldn't if we tried.

he looks 'round for his mistress, o lovely Dollar Sign,

while his fat and lonely wife watches as she whines.

houses, once our homes, fall prey to rot and mold

these his kind are drawn to as the carpet men of old.

his world is a melting pot of politics and gain

he loves his life and cannot conceive he is causing any pain.

he dreams of golf and stinking ships;

quietly disposes those who give him lip.

we pray he will turn an eye upon the ruin he has caused

we pray to God that his reign of terror shall soon come to a pause.

(he stands.    saunters off on the high of a successful deal.    thanks . . . Someone for winning.    meets his mistress at the pub.)

scene, 

for now.

:: poem 1: unlight

i wrote this poem about two years ago after watching the voyage of the dawn treader for the first time. (that's the chronicles of narnia for all y'all unenlightened folks out there.) it's about the scene in the dark island when Edmund is facing an old fear/foe. that part was not in the book (as in keeping with the rest of the movie), but it moved me very deeply, as i recall. it was my first "good" poem. lots of people i've shared it with liked it/didn't understand it, so i thought it would be appropriate to share here. 

Unlight
By Sarah Fuller
Dec/11/10

The Unlight falls like a shadow in our desperate lord's great hall.

It creeps into their very minds.

It slowly moves towards me.

"What am I to do with the madness here before me?" I ask all who care.

The dark villain moves closer.

I have seen this Unlight before.

I cannot recall how or where, but it pierces my mind like sword.

What does it remind me of, this demon from below?

It is despair. It is death. It is the greatest of my many fears.

Closer still it creeps...

The people all around me, ones who I once called friends, yell "Run! Save yourself from pain!"

Yet another voice, hardly able to be heard, whispers, "Stand your ground."

"Why, Voice?" I cry. "Why must I proceed, when all the others run and hide? Have I not greater weakness than they?"

"Fear not, for I am with you to the end."

The once small whisper becomes a mighty man.

The great darkness, the poisonous mist, the spider, is now before us.

"I know you are weak, but I am strong. Trust me, and I will protect you."

He gives me His hand.

We will defeat this Unlight, this fear, this death.

This darkness once too strong for mortal man, the Protector has made Light.

The people come from hiding, bending a knee and proclaiming the Voice, The Protector, is our Savior and our King.

The Light prevails victoriously.

:: awakening.

hello, dear readers. it appears i have long neglected this poor blog, so, i have decided to re-purpose it as a poetry blog!!!

for my first post, i shall quote that majestic & wondrous poet e. e. cummings.

who are you,little i

(five or six years old)
peering from some high 

window;at the gold


of november sunset

(and feeling:that if day
has to become night

this is a beautiful way)

love to thee, dear reader!!